Sometimes the feelings we start to have again are the same feelings that never really went away . Don’t waste your tears on someone who won’t be there to kiss them away . If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t they never were . To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt . im tired , im pissed , im sad and im dissappointed but what else can i do to make you feel better . i dont tell you things anymore cos i know youre feeling much more worst than me but seeing you like that , it really hurts me so much more than how im feeling right now . seeing myself so useless , i cant make you feel better neither can i tell you what to do . youre already so determined , you said you tried . leaving but waiting at the same time . you said of all , im the one that understands you , i realise i dont , not anymore , not before and not in the future . i find it so hard to understand you alr , because in the first place , i cant even understand what i myself want to have and what i want to do . how do you even expect me to understand and console you . i cant and theres no need to tell me sorry because now i can tell you , im sorry nic for failing so badly as a bestfriend , a friend or whatever i am to you , sorry for not understanding you , sorry for not standing with you for your decisions , sorry for not putting myself in your shoe , sorry for putting my own past into the current situation and wanting you to follow what i said . sorry for all the small little things ive done to hurt you and people around me so much , i promiss i wont do anything anymore , not even anything to make myself feel much better or any better . youve got so much wonderful friends and im just one that failed you and dissappoint you so much , nothing i did made you happy , nothing i did made things better and easier for you . The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open and here i am , trying to stop you . i am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be , in the end, it’s worked out because we both want it to. As long as we two have that, you’ll be able to make it through anything . i didnt want you to mean so much to me but i realise i cant just leave you alone like that on your own , seeing you sad hurts , seeing you cry hurts , seeing you get drunk hurts , seeing you do things you dont do to make yourself feel better hurts , hearing you tell me you miss him hurts , hearing you tell me how dirty you felt you are hurts , hearing you ask me if you did wrong hurts , seeing and hearing you form everywhere hurts ): im sorry ):
